Lately it seems I am being bombarded by opinion as to how to raise our baby. I never thought I'd be in the center of anyone telling me what I'm doing right and wrong, but oh was I mistaken!
This post is more of a rant, than anything, so feel free not to read! (you've been warned!)
Opinion 1: YOU SLEEP IN BED WITH YOUR BABY??!! ARE YOU CRAZY???
First off, we co-sleep, or more correctly, bed share. Jarek and I are inseparable and from day one, yes, we sleep together. He is usually cradled in the nook of my arm, sleeping on my chest or facing me side laying. Breastfeeding him has become so enjoyable during nighttime, as I simply just lay facing him, he latches on, and voila! Sleep for both baby and Mom.
Bring this up to certain opinionated people and BAM!!! Bombarded by nasty comments of how I'm going to kill my child, spoil him or worse, ruin him for life because of his lack of independence.
My stance from backed up research: (yes i spend hours researching benefits of all of my decisions)
It is actually proven that bedsharing is safer than leaving your infant crying in another room in a crib. In fact, SIDS is practically non-existent in bed sharing situations (or room sharing). You may wonder why? Because of the prompt response from Mom to baby. The way we lay and the fact that i never take medications or alcohol prior to bed, it is merely impossible for me to roll over him. So that myth is debunked. I also found the coolest article about how Mom becomes baby's pacemaker at night. When laying face to face, Mom's carbon dioxide actually triggers baby's response to breathe and regulates heartrate, respiratory rate and also sleep patterns. It is amazing, when I tell you that I start stirring and wake JUST BEFORE Jarek stirs at night. He never wakes me up. I always wake first, and this is because of the hormonal exchange between him and I. It is by far, one of the coolest things I never knew happened!
End Result: You put your kids in their crib in another room to cry and feel abandoned, and I will place mine in my arms so he always knows he has safety in his parents. Like MY Mom says, It's not like he is going to be 16 still laying in your bed.......ponder that.
Opinion 2: LET ME HOLD HIM! YOU SEE HIM ALL THE TIME!!!
People think that just because there is a baby present, he is a 'pass around baby' and that I see him practically all day, that I would be thrilled to have him off my hands. This is actually quite opposite! Even though it is nice to have a free hand now and again, it is more like ten minutes of free time before I start craving him again.
My stance: I thought I was crazy. I thought that when people held Jarek for long amounts of time or when strangers wanted to poke his nose and fawn over him, that the anxiety I felt was abnormal. Until I researched it. There is a fascinating article HERE. I knew what I felt wasn't manifested. What I feel when I am away from him is a constant pull to hold him. My body physically reacts by my boobs aching and stinging. My mind can think of NOTHING and cannot focus on anything except keeping my eyes locked on Jarek and keeping him safe. I read that article and it totally makes sense! I am his keeper, I am his protector. I am his sword and I am his shield. When he cries, no one can make it better but me or Matt. So now I don't feel guilty when I snag him back or keep him covered from strangers in a store. It's instinct! I never wanted to be the Mom that didn't share her baby...until I had the baby!
End Result: A Mother and Baby are ONE! Blame the hormones for my lack of desire to pass off my child, it is truly beyond my control until these chemicals balance out! Sorry!
OPINION 3: YOU WEAR YOUR BABY?? YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL HIM
Yes, I hold my baby. I wear him everywhere. I wear him when I do the dishes, and chores and to the grocery store and even out on hikes! You want me to keep in alone in his crib to stare at the ceiling to build independence?
My Stance: You place your baby in a crib to stare at a ceiling until he is so bored he passes out, alone and with no blankets. And I will hold mine to my chest as he sleeps and give him the stimulation of an everchanging environment. He will always feel my chest beating and the heat from my arms. I think that baby wearing is the coolest idea that FINALLY is going mainstream in Western culture. I mean after all, over 4 billion people in Eastern cultures have been wearing their babies since the beginning of time.
End Result: You place your baby in the crib. I will take mine everywhere.
sorry about this rant, but when I lay awake in bed for hours just worrying if I am parenting my child the right way due to so much negative feedback day in and day out...I must find a way to vent my thoughts. I spend hours researching benefits and the natural paths to parenthood fit me. ME, not you. Which is why we all parent differently. No baby comes with a manual. I do what feels right, and holding, sleeping and wearing my baby just does :)
Also, we are coming up on the one year mark for this blog. Since the IVF journey has completed and Jarek is here in our arms, I am contemplating ending this blog. I feel that we want to protect our families privacy from here on out. Thoughts?
This post is more of a rant, than anything, so feel free not to read! (you've been warned!)
Opinion 1: YOU SLEEP IN BED WITH YOUR BABY??!! ARE YOU CRAZY???
First off, we co-sleep, or more correctly, bed share. Jarek and I are inseparable and from day one, yes, we sleep together. He is usually cradled in the nook of my arm, sleeping on my chest or facing me side laying. Breastfeeding him has become so enjoyable during nighttime, as I simply just lay facing him, he latches on, and voila! Sleep for both baby and Mom.
Bring this up to certain opinionated people and BAM!!! Bombarded by nasty comments of how I'm going to kill my child, spoil him or worse, ruin him for life because of his lack of independence.
My stance from backed up research: (yes i spend hours researching benefits of all of my decisions)
It is actually proven that bedsharing is safer than leaving your infant crying in another room in a crib. In fact, SIDS is practically non-existent in bed sharing situations (or room sharing). You may wonder why? Because of the prompt response from Mom to baby. The way we lay and the fact that i never take medications or alcohol prior to bed, it is merely impossible for me to roll over him. So that myth is debunked. I also found the coolest article about how Mom becomes baby's pacemaker at night. When laying face to face, Mom's carbon dioxide actually triggers baby's response to breathe and regulates heartrate, respiratory rate and also sleep patterns. It is amazing, when I tell you that I start stirring and wake JUST BEFORE Jarek stirs at night. He never wakes me up. I always wake first, and this is because of the hormonal exchange between him and I. It is by far, one of the coolest things I never knew happened!
End Result: You put your kids in their crib in another room to cry and feel abandoned, and I will place mine in my arms so he always knows he has safety in his parents. Like MY Mom says, It's not like he is going to be 16 still laying in your bed.......ponder that.
Opinion 2: LET ME HOLD HIM! YOU SEE HIM ALL THE TIME!!!
People think that just because there is a baby present, he is a 'pass around baby' and that I see him practically all day, that I would be thrilled to have him off my hands. This is actually quite opposite! Even though it is nice to have a free hand now and again, it is more like ten minutes of free time before I start craving him again.
My stance: I thought I was crazy. I thought that when people held Jarek for long amounts of time or when strangers wanted to poke his nose and fawn over him, that the anxiety I felt was abnormal. Until I researched it. There is a fascinating article HERE. I knew what I felt wasn't manifested. What I feel when I am away from him is a constant pull to hold him. My body physically reacts by my boobs aching and stinging. My mind can think of NOTHING and cannot focus on anything except keeping my eyes locked on Jarek and keeping him safe. I read that article and it totally makes sense! I am his keeper, I am his protector. I am his sword and I am his shield. When he cries, no one can make it better but me or Matt. So now I don't feel guilty when I snag him back or keep him covered from strangers in a store. It's instinct! I never wanted to be the Mom that didn't share her baby...until I had the baby!
End Result: A Mother and Baby are ONE! Blame the hormones for my lack of desire to pass off my child, it is truly beyond my control until these chemicals balance out! Sorry!
OPINION 3: YOU WEAR YOUR BABY?? YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL HIM
Yes, I hold my baby. I wear him everywhere. I wear him when I do the dishes, and chores and to the grocery store and even out on hikes! You want me to keep in alone in his crib to stare at the ceiling to build independence?
My Stance: You place your baby in a crib to stare at a ceiling until he is so bored he passes out, alone and with no blankets. And I will hold mine to my chest as he sleeps and give him the stimulation of an everchanging environment. He will always feel my chest beating and the heat from my arms. I think that baby wearing is the coolest idea that FINALLY is going mainstream in Western culture. I mean after all, over 4 billion people in Eastern cultures have been wearing their babies since the beginning of time.
End Result: You place your baby in the crib. I will take mine everywhere.
sorry about this rant, but when I lay awake in bed for hours just worrying if I am parenting my child the right way due to so much negative feedback day in and day out...I must find a way to vent my thoughts. I spend hours researching benefits and the natural paths to parenthood fit me. ME, not you. Which is why we all parent differently. No baby comes with a manual. I do what feels right, and holding, sleeping and wearing my baby just does :)
Also, we are coming up on the one year mark for this blog. Since the IVF journey has completed and Jarek is here in our arms, I am contemplating ending this blog. I feel that we want to protect our families privacy from here on out. Thoughts?